I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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