you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
