it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
