hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
