I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
