My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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