Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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