I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
