i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So. Much. Porn.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
