How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
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He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
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Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.