If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
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I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
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I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap