i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911