he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
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You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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