I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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