Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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