you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize