He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize