Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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