dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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