Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
