my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i've created a new STD.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
