oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
