Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
