That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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