tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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