You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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