Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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