chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
