Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
that is very illegal...i love you.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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