They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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