butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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