she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
