the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
