Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
