you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
