kristin has been a bad kristin
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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