Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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