Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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