fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
