Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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