Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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