i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
