physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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