how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Is Oprah even human
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
