is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I want her autograph on my taint
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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