if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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