so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
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You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
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I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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