i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize