Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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