U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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