Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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