Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just gargled with NyQuil
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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