Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
