Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
