What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
