I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
