I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
