I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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